Even I can grow

Tonight I did something that I always wanted to do, but always chickened out in the end. I am in DC (Bethesda actually) and after checking into my hotel I took a walk through the neighborhood looking for some food for dinner. It was a beautiful night-70ish with no humidity! Typically, I usually find something where I can just get take out or even order room service. Not tonight! I found a cute restaurant (Red Tomato Cafe) on St. Elmo Ave. I entered the restaurant and asked for a table for one. I ate my dinner entree and had a glass of wine all by myself. It was actually much more enjoyable and less awkward than I had anticipated. Not to say I don't prefer dining with someone, but now I won't be so quick to dismiss dining solo.

Birthmark Blues

Patrick was born with a port wine stain (PWS) that covers the upper left half of his face- which makes it easy to tell the boys apart. He goes to the outpatient center at Children's to get laser surgery for its removal. It is kinda big ordeal for him as he is put under general anesthesia (usually with IV) due to the PWS being around his eye and wakes up looking beat up with bright red/purple dots where his now faded PWS is. He also gets scared when the doctors takes him away from me and they go on the "spaceship" (he gets to press the surgery double doors, hence the spaceship and gets a special mask). He has had so many laser treatments (I lost count at 10) since he was 6 months old that his birthmark is a light blush color.

It is about time to make for his hopefully last major laser session (next are supposedly just touch up time: Yea!) and I tell Patrick that I am going to call the hospital for his appointment. He is very excited to "get his birthmark" as he thinks the aftermath of laser treatment is the actual birthmark. He also likes the look of his face after treatment and I have caught him admiring himself in the mirror. He told me that it is beautiful. Also, now that he is older he enjoys getting the Popsicles and juice (a no-no in our house: bad bellies like their mom) from the kind nurses after he wakes. He brags about this to his brother who is insanely jealous and now wants a birthmark too. Well, Patrick made a deal with Adam this time on the way to pre-school.
A: I want a birthmark too, Pat.
P: Ok, Ad, you can go to the spaceship doctor and get a birthmark and drink juice and have Popsicles.
A: Yea! I will let you read my airplane book.
P: Lot of times?
A: Lot of times.
P: and I can wear the blue CARS shirt lot of times.
A: yes lot of times.

Then they held hands and were very pleasent the whole ride to school.

Too young for ghost stories

Our boys have been having trouble going to bed on time. We put them up there between 7:15- 7:30 and they seem to just play for hours. It wouldn't be so bad if they played nicely, but my boys seem to scream for us every 10 minutes. "Patrick threw his blanket at me".."Adam hit me" ... "That's cause you threw your blanket at me" ..."I am thirsty" ..."I got to go potty"... "I got to go poo poo" (we run on that one). None stop chatter. I think it is hard because it is still light out and warm in their rooms. Well, last night was especially hard and it didn't seem that they'd ever go to bed, so Tim decides to tell them a ghost story. We all sat on the ground around the night light and Tim told the story of a scary, crazy skunk. He even hit the floor for sound effects while I make skunk noises. (I made some weird screeching noise at least since I am not sure what noise a skunk makes). Well he finished his story which ended with a big tickle monster and him and me tickling the boys. The boys didn't make a sound. No usual laughter from the tickle and their bodies were ridged. Adam tells us "I want to go to bed". Patrick says, "I do too". They went to their beds, got under the covers, and there wasn't a peep out of them until morning.

Fired up

Last night I went out with the twin ladies, which was lovely. I need to flee the coup and get my lady conversation on every once in a while for my own sanity. It is my chance to have some wine and share life and twin related stories. Well, one of the stories got me all fired up. Apparently, during a playgroup one twin mother had the audacity to insult another mother about her decision to be an out of the home working mother claiming that her children suffer because of her "selfish" decision to work. Naturally, my working friend never returned to another playgroup.

As a working mother myself and also because I was raised by a working mother, I get infuriated at such accusations. A decision for a mother to work outside the home or not is a personal one and typically, this decision is not made lightheartedly. It is a complicated formula filled with different variables including that of personal traits, monetary factors, career expectations, goals, and guilt. It is disappointing to hear a women from this day and age be so ignorant and say such insulting remarks.

Personally, I think my children are better served having me as a working parent. I think I set an example for them that women can do anything that men can do and should be treated as an equal and respected in the workplace and life despite their family situation. I show my boys that as men and fathers they will be expected to be equal contributing members of the family and do their share to make the household run. They will understand that by having working parents they will have disappointments as a result of their parent’s responsibilities, but can be proud of their parent’s career accomplishments and how hard they work to try to balance both career and family. They will realize that “you can’t have it all” and life is not the 2 dimensional, glossy, perfect family images portrayed as ideal in the media. They will be OK with this because I will teach them that life is a challenge and dynamic filled with possibilities and choice and that their parents carefully made their choices and worked hard to deliver the best outcomes that they could.

Morning Quotes

Tim and I commuted to work together today so the grandparents could enjoy a day with the boys. After we say our goodbyes and remind them to be good listeners, Patrick tells us:

"Drive safe and don't let the bed bugs bite. "

Earthquake

5.4-5.8 near chino hills (LA area). We felt it in Sorrento Valley up on my 5th floor office. It was pretty mild as we are all the way in San Diego. My husband didn't feel it although his coworker did. One Midwestern transplant was upset that she couldn't feel it and hoped for another. Not me. I have been through enough large earthquakes to have my heart drop when I start feeling those beginning shakes. I am just glad the one today didn't escalate and didn't cause serious damage/injuries. I don't mind moderate earthquakes like the one today since I think it relieves some of that fault stress preventing those really scary big ones.

Skills that probably wont pay the bills

As I have mentioned previously, there are certain personal attributes/ skills/ passions that I wish I had, but would probably never obtain. When I think about this question my mind wanders back to a Seinfeld episode where George (I think) proclaims he wished he was a history buff. Well, although being a history buff would be pretty high on my list here are my top 3 "useless" traits:
1. classical music aficionado
Some people really dig classical music. I truly wish I would desire to turn the radio on to classical music and passionately enjoy what is being played. In addition, I would also be able to identify the title and composer of the piece. Sadly, it is not without trying as I have been exposed to classical music all my life, participated in ensemble (clarinet), and attended many symphonies. I just can't seem to fall in love with it even though I think I should and want to. This category can also be applied jazz music, opera, and the Latino stations.
2. cheese connoisseur
I love cheese. But my love for cheese stops short at stinky goat and blue cheeses. I have tried these "delights" over and over. I keep hoping it will one day be like sushi was for me and I will grow to love it after a few attempts. Yet, I am like a picky toddler and thinks that goat cheese smells like BO and makes me want to vomit. Blue cheese just makes me think that I am eating expired food which also makes me want to vomit. In the meantime, I will continue to force myself to keep trying and hope for a change in taste. Tastebuds die as we age, right?
3. Political junkie
Why can't I get pumped up over politics? I love seeing the passion that people have for politicians and their platforms. People get so excited and go to rallies, hit the campaign trail, and visually show their support with signs and pins. It is not like that I don't vote (I am a permanent absentee voter), but I just wish I had the exuberance for the topic and campaigning like others.

What are your useless skills you wish you had?

Summer evenings

Here is what we love doing everyday after dinner.






PS. These images were captured using my new iphone. I feel very cool. Tim even stood in line for it as a sweet surprise gift for me. It a little weird having a cell phone again. I think I haven't had an electronic leash for almost 4.5 years.

A funny

Check it out:
http://galleryoftheabsurd.typepad.com/14/2008/07/if-scientists-w.html

I almost passed out reading this. Hilarious.

Skills I wish I had

Driving up and down California is exhausting. It is even more exhausting when the radio reception is poor (no satellite radio in the truck- bummer). However, I have found that one type of radio programming always seems to come in clear no matter where you are in the state of California- Latino. Because of this, I started thinking that I really wished I was more proficient in my Latino music knowledge. Driving always goes better when you know the words and can sing along. So I am adding Latino musica to my list of expertise I wish I had.

Home

We are back from our week vacay up north. The boys had a wonderful time with their grandparents while their parents ventured north into the redwoods and northern California coast. Their grandpa had set them up with a week worth of swim classes and we were so surprised to see how well they can swim in the water. They both even learned to do a kneeling dive into the water from the edge. Adam is loving diving for items at the bottom of the pool and Patrick loves to jump off the steps and take a ride on his "surfboard" (it is his new kickboard but he calls it his surf board). Very cute. Hopefully, by the end of the summer they will proficient swimmers. Having a pool is a scary thing with little kidos.

You think you know someone

Patrick and Adam just came back from the dentist. It wasn't the easiest experience, but they did pretty well considering that they are only 3. They had their first fluoride treatment along with polishing, cleaning, and flossing. The boys even had their first teeth X-rays. This was brought on by the Dr. finding that PJ had an extra front tooth. I never noticed that before and I watched the teeth come in! He had a chipped tooth in the same region so I have even inspected his teeth before and never realized it. Pretty cool.

Morning Cuties

Today we had a rare morning where everyone was happy and (relatively) rested. It probably has been my fault as I disrupted every one's schedules for the last two weeks with PHL trip and then a week at the Bio conference. However, it also could have been the crazy heat wave we just had that made everyone not sleep well. Even TJ finally broke down and turned the air on (to 78) to get us through the weekend. Luckily, last night it had cooled off and we just slept with our windows open. Well, the boys came into our room and hid a toy under one of their blankets on the floor. They moved their hands over it back and forth and said, "Abracadabra and Hocus Pocus" in unison. One of the boys whipped away the blanket and reviled the hidden toy. They told us that is how they make toys reappear.

Big boys

My boys told me that they did not want to wear pull ups at night anymore. I told them that they will need to tell me when they have to go potty and then we will try it. We still lock them (not really lock, but childproofing) in their rooms so they do not have the opportunity to go to the bathroom on their own. Well, Adam has had 3 nights of no accidents in a row and PJ just had a small accident last night. I am so proud.

Chilling in Phili

When I was younger, I used to think that people who traveled for business were so glamorous. I imagined myself dressed in professional attire, jetting off to meetings, and seeing the world. The reality is that you never travel in a suit (change in the bathroom if necessary upon arrival) and basically only see the inside of the hotel and the place of the meeting. In addition, the places where you meet clients are usually far from the downtown as their corporate headquarters are found in the remote suburbs. Right now I am in my hotel room enjoying being in some town outside of Philadelphia with my glass of cheap wine from the complementary hotel happy hour. The most I ever see of the cities I visit for work is during my descent into the airport or during my transport to and from the hotel. Doesn't it count that I have seen the White House from the air? Also, how come I always cram half of my carry-on bag with workout clothes/ shoes and never make it to the gym. Must be the complementary hotel happy hour.

New beginnings

Yes- it has been a little while, but changing jobs has made things a little crazy in my life. Like all new beginnings there are new challenges. I have been really focused on meeting new people/coworkers, learning the company procedures, and figuring out all the little things like who to talk to, where to get lunch at, how to fill out all the benefit paperwork, etc. The benefit paperwork has been especially challenging because even though you are covered by insurance on day one, you do not have a policy number for many weeks later (cards come even later). This poses to be problematic when your son decides to hurt himself and you have no proof of insurance. According to AJ, he had "jumped up so high in the sky, like a tree". I think that he got distracted at his vertical accomplishment and forgot to land correctly and tweaked his ankle, resulting in a noticeable limp. I waited a day to see if his limp would go away and it didn't so I called the doctor's office and they told us to come in to be seen. Then the doctor sent us to get an x-ray since kids usually break rather than sprain. AJ was very good at the radiologist and was very patient on the X-ray table. Thankfully, they could not find a break and I wrapped his ankle in a tiny ace bandage. He hates it, but an ace bandage is way better than a cast in the SD summertime- that is for sure. Now, I am going to have to do all that fun insurance paperwork when the bills come. Oh well, I am just happy I don't have to see a sidelined AJ at the beach or pool this summer.

It just keeps coming out

P's response to why he can't stop crying and calm himself.

Moving on

I have a few minutes until my exit interview and I am feeling a bit unsettled. I really would have preferred to do this over the phone, but the VP decides he wants to do it in person. I keep telling myself- do not burn bridges, do not burn bridges, over and over again. I think I have said everything that I needed to say over the last 4 years with this company. Agh, why is this so stressful? I hope I don't start crying-because that would be so professional.

Reunion

So we went up to go to my 15 year high school reunion last weekend. Normally, I wouldn't go to these sort of things, but it was at one of my favorite friends house (Leslie's) so I couldn't refuse. For some reason I was really nervous about going. High School was not the easiest time in my life. I guess coming of age is hard for everyone one, but just thinking of those times reminded me of my faults and insecurities. I went to a small, all-girls school where the students were so talented and brilliant, I felt like a fraud. Maybe I am just embarrassed of that time. There were so many things I wish I did and acted differently. I guess that is part of the growing up process.
Anyway, we left the boys at my folks home and TJ and I headed to the reunion. Armed with multiple glasses of wine, I was ready to face my past. It was actually amazing to see everyone that came. The funny thing is everyone still looked the same and beautiful! I had such a great time talking to people who I hadn't seen in 15 years and some who I didn't talk too much to in high school. Maybe it was my wine induced haze, but I thought everyone was so joyous and genuinely enjoyed each others company. To see that everyone had grown-up and matured so fantastically, it made me happy that I went.

Placating the Twinado

We survived yet another traveling adventure. The boys were almost pleasant. I think it is the secret weapon of the portable DVD player. It is funny, I used to not like cars with DVD players in the backseat. I thought it was too much of a luxury to use on children. Besides, if the kids were busy zoned out watching a video/DVD, I thought they'd miss out on the experience of the journey.
Thinking back to my childhood when such things weren't available (or my folks refuse to buy them for me), I remember I had to endure long car rides from the bay area up to Tahoe without such entertainment. I would just fight with my brother in the back seat (yes- we made a line down it) and watch the landscape roll by listening to my mom's Kenny Rogers/Alabama/Dolly Parton/Cystal Gale tapes. Come to think of it, I used to hate these road trips and would force myself to stay up late the night before so I could nap most of the ride. Maybe I thought that if I had to suffer as a child during road/ plane trips that it was only fair that my children should too- toughen them up! Then I learned that the DVD players were not so much for the children, but for the parents and people around them. This is especially true in a more public place like an airplane. Now we have no more tantrums and minimized emotional outbursts. Amazing. We might actually consider a family trip to the Midwest now.